Tired

Freedom. Is it that hard to obtain? Just to be able to do something that I want for a change. No. Movements will always be restricted here. Eyes and mouths will always spill out untruths and unfairness here. Your own heart should always be scarred at the expense of others. Nothing else should matter to you at all. All passion, liveliness and hope should be taken away, leaving you to become a robot who only answers appropriately to make others happy, never yourself.

Don't I matter too?

Somewhere in this universe, I know is a place I belong. However, this place here will never be the place. Ever. Tonight just proves it even more.

No matter what achievements, no matter what gains, nothing can ever wash away the filth in the eyes here. No matter what changes, no matter what efforts, it will never, ever matter to anyone of you at all. Doesn't matter. I always knew. I've known to be thankful to God for His blessings and knowing that at least He has seen me through and He alone is sincerely proud of me. With that I am contented.

No one knows this heart. No one will bother to understand. Arguments? Reasons? Fallen on deaf ears. I've tried. Does it matter anymore?

So tired of living. So tired of this life. With that, I regret. With this regret, I have a resolution for the future.

Thank you for making it all the more clearer.