Why am I here?

I've lived in Miri for almost all my life. Aren't I suppose to be happy when I am back?

Sure. For a while and then it starts getting...dark.

Sure. I've got my family members here but seriously, what future have I got here? Let's see apart from being currently jobless and having an almost non-existing social life, I'd say I have absolutely 100% NO future here. At all.

This place depresses me most of the time in all aspects. I feel so suffocated and so damn restless. What has my life become here? How have the people around me changed so much?

I wish I can just go somewhere and start fresh. A place where I don't have to be compared with or where my past life is unknown. A place where I can meet new people of similar interests and maturity instead of always feeling so zoned out and out of place here.

Why has a place which has given me so much happy memories depresses me more than ever? What ever happened to the people who were some parts of the happy memories? Scattered? Driven away by different pursuits of the world? Whatever happened to us?

As Linkin Park puts it, "I wanna run away and never say goodbye".

Here, I feel my life being just seeped away from me. Will I ever, ever have the opportunity to experience or achieve the goals which I were very much clear off right in the beginning of this year? It was a moment where I was enthusiastically looking up information and praying for the best. Now, I'm not so sure anymore. What is one person compared to the world anyway? Nothing. Insignificant. A face in the crowd. That is all.

What is my future? I don't know. All I see in my head now anyway is hatred and sadness directed at this particular place and time of my life which I would want to escape from it all right away.

I really just want to run away and not look back when I say goodbye.

Sometimes song lyrics just have the most apt lines to describe you.