She was forced to evacuate from her home 2 years ago and as for the proper family reunion, well, the only proper reunion happened today- during the funeral.
Her health did deteriorate; she couldn't see much anymore and was bedridden but she was nevertheless the same person; sharp, witty and well, always there.
Her passing shocked everyone. An aunt put it this way: "Grandma was always there. She has been in and out of the hospital. I always thought she would have a long life. I didn't realise after sending her to the ER today, she will never come out."
Things were pretty emotional after we found out about her passing. She started gasping for breath at home at around 4-ish in the afternoon and was rushed to the hospital where they started performing resuscitation on her. However, her heart just suddenly stopped in front of the 4 doctors. They tried for half an hour and the heartbeat just never came back. Some say maybe she just chose to leave then. She did mention before she did not want to trouble anyone with her health issues.
Just last Saturday, she was hospitalised for Dengue Fever and I got to talk to her on the phone on Sunday. She sounded fine and my last words to her were to ask her to rest properly. She was released on Monday.
I got on the 5 am KTM to Central on Friday and met up with my sister there for our flight back to Miri at 3 pm. Dad was also flying with us. Upon arrival we rushed to the house were the funeral was to take place and stayed there till 5 am the next day. A lot of mixed emotions went around. There would be a period of time where we would start crying and another period of time where we were happy.
Grandma looked so peaceful. She looked as if she was smiling.
A Buddhist funeral was conducted but we do have faith that she has accepted Christ. She told cousin Ben that she wanted to be a Christian. I do believe she is though.
Her death still comes as a shock to us. It happened too fast.
Sure, each of us have our regrets; for not spending enough time with her, misbehaving, and all.
However, we do have so many beautiful memories of her for us to cherish. So many.
We cried silently when we recalled of the conversations and experiences we had with her. We laughed at some
The hardest part was when we had to pay our final respect to her. Everyone cried the hardest then. It seemed to signify the end of her existence.
But we have to believe that she is in a better place now. I have this habit of poking my head to look at the place she used to lie in the kitchen. The efficient team had removed the bed there, from her room along with her wheel chair and other posessions. Went into her room yesterday to discover that the familiar powderish smell was still there; the exact smell of her room at the old house during the childhood days.
After 3 days of crying and no proper sleep, I think I will be getting better again.
Now it is back to the assignments and uni stuff. Le sigh.
Grandma's last birthday last year.
I have so much things I want to write yet I feel they should just be personally known to me.
Shall be heading back to Kampar tomorrow.
Till then
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